Although I had been out for a few years I didn’t really have any friends that were gay, or a community I felt a part of. I’m an introvert by nature and my attempts at putting myself “out there” failed miserably. But online it was much easier to try and find a place to fit in. The risks were minimal since nobody knew who I really was, and I could lurk around as much as I wanted until I felt comfortable.

I stumbled into the fanfic universe in 2006, when I was looking for more information on The O.C.’s Marissa and Alex storyline. I can’t remember how I came across that first site that hosted Marissa and Alex, or Malex, fan fiction, but I can tell you that after reading the first story, I was hooked. I had already watched all of their scenes on YouTube, but in fan fiction I was experiencing these characters in various settings and storylines fan fiction writers explored in a way the show’s creators could/would not. I read cannon fics (meaning they followed the timeline of the show) and A/U (alternate universe) stories, and I read them as fast as I could.
Not long after discovering the first Malex site, I happened upon a Malex fan forum, and it was here that a whole new world was opened up to me. This wasn’t just a site to read stories, like the first site had been; it was also a place to interact with other fans and authors that were kind enough to share their creations. I could talk to people who shared a common interest with me without all the real world anxiety that comes with that.

It took me a long time before I felt brave enough to try and write something myself. An idea for a story formed in my head and no matter what I did, I couldn’t get it out. I spent time coming up with the plot, the dialogue and the ending. I posted the first chapter and allowed people to read it and tell me what they thought about it. I can’t speak for anyone else who writes, but for me it was a new experience to feel so vulnerable and to put a piece of me out there to be judged. Every story that I’ve ever written has had a piece of me in it and it’s not always easy to let people see that part of me or leave it open to criticism.

I will never forget what it felt like when the first person commented on what I had written. It was such a thrill that someone who didn’t know me and didn’t have any reason to be nice, liked what I had created. It was an addicting feeling and made me incredibly happy.

Besides the enjoyment I get from receiving reviews, I also think they make me a better writer. I see my story and the actions of the characters one way, but getting the perspective of others helps me see things from a completely different angle. Receiving immediate feedback is also a good way to see if what I was doing makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, if there is a way I want to take my story I still take it there even if people want something else to happen. That’s another thing I learned by writing fan fiction, you have to have the conviction to go where you want your story to go, even if that might not be a popular choice. I really enjoy taking a character or an idea that readers would look at one way and flipping things around completely.

Fan fiction allows me this whole avenue of creativity that I don’t think I would have discovered otherwise. I can try my hand at writing funny stories, angst ridden tales or a combination of many different genres and I find out right away whether something is working or not. Unlike the rest of the internet – at least in my experience – there isn’t a lot of trolling in fan fiction reviews. I’ve certainly had people tell me they didn’t like something I did, but it’s mostly done in a way that doesn’t make me want to curl up in a ball and weep.

That’s not to say that there aren’t issues that come with fan fiction. There are poorly written stories, stories that don’t get completed (sorry!) and there are always going to be people who do or say something controversial for no good reason. On the whole, though, my personal experience has been a positive one.
I moved on from my Malex writing into different fandoms, but my feelings about fan fiction haven’t changed. I’ve had the chance to read stories by incredibly gifted writers. I’ve had the chance to connect and make friends with people all over the world. I’ve had the chance to show people in my offline life my writing, and I never thought I’d want to do that. Most importantly, fan fiction allowed me to meet the girl I’m going to marry one day. She reviewed a story I was writing and there was something in what she said that made me want to know her better. I sent her a message never expecting that it would wind up being the best decision I have ever made.

I’m thankful that I stumbled into the world of fan fiction. It’s a world I see myself being a part of for the foreseeable future and a world that has given me so many wonderful opportunities and stories. If you’ve never had the chance to partake in fan fiction – in whatever way you feel comfortable – I highly recommend it. I don’t think you’ll be sorry.
Oh right, I forgot to mention the smut. That’s a pretty enjoyable part of the fan fiction genre as well.

You struggled to come to grips with your true self,
Were you the lipstick kind of lesbian or the one who could build a shelf?
The torment you felt was constant and a big deal,
You were awkward, clumsy and wonderfully real.

You charmed young Emily with karaoke and sweet phrases,
With lady kisses, picnics and lingering gazes.
Sadly though you couldn’t be honest about who you were,
So back to the closet you went, not to be heard from in almost a year.

And then out of nowhere you showed up like a sight for sore eyes,
Looking dapper, regal and promising no more lies.
Once again Emily felt herself falling under your spell,
She wasn’t the only one mind you, lots of viewers felt the same way as well.

Good things really do come to those who wait,
Although the memory of a dead ex-girlfriend loomed between you and your mate.
You got drugged, confused and just wanted a coconut cupcake,
And let’s not forget about the cousin who totally existed and wasn’t a giant fake.

But your patience was soon going to be rewarded,
Emily showed up at your house that late night and you left your heart unguarded.
There were confessions and feelings shared like only us lesbians can,
Then there was possibly naked swimming that had nothing to do with working on your tan.

Things didn’t go smoothly, there were still tests to come,
Mostly notably Nate, with a backstory that bordered on dumb.
He dared to touch the lips that should only be kissing yours,
That caused you to smash many a garbage can and possibly a few doors.

Not to worry, our hero always has a plan,
Even if it involves getting kidnapped and held captive by an evil, deranged man.
But you were brave and helped out as best as you could,
See, Spencer Hastings, she’s not bad, she’s so very, very good.

I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the Paily ship,
Let’s cross fingers for more bicycles, tuxedos and a sexy hat tip.
Paige, I really hope that you are here to stay,
But please for the love of all that is holy don’t wind up being A.

Some things I learned:

• A lot of people don’t have the Christmas spirit
• Santa Claus is real
• I actually adore Christmas movies

Unfortunately I didn’t get to all ten movies that I wanted to watch. I still need to see The Nightmare Before Christmas and Scrooge (1951 version).  Next year I’m hoping to embark on a project where I watch spectacularly bad Christmas movies. I can’t wait to see what those films are like.

You should know I am not a fan of ranking things. My other half is always asking me to do just that, or who is my favourite character of whatever TV series or movie we might be discussing.  I almost always refuse to do so.  As a Christmas present to her (even though it’s a day late), I thought I would sort my Christmas movie project in order of what I liked best. (Don’t say I never got you anything, A!)

Now, a ranking list of eight movies doesn’t sound quite right.  So I’m also going to include two Christmas movies that I’ve seen already. (It’s my list and I can do what I want to!)

1. Scrooged
2. The Muppet Christmas Carol
3. Elf
4. Miracle on 34^th Street (1947)
5. Bad Santa
6. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
7. The Family Man
8. White Christmas
9. Miracle on 34^th Street (1994)
10. It’s a Wonderful Life

Feel free to judge me all you want.

Once again, a special thanks to Dev for helping come up with what Christmas movies to watch. You are definitely going on the nice list next year!

Merry (belated) Christmas to you all.

And to all, a good night.

• It will be interesting to see how they’ve modernized this adaption
• I can’t imagine a better Santa Claus than the one from the first film
• I have no third point

My (hopefully somewhat coherent) thoughts after the movie

What I liked about the movie:

I thought the remake of Miracle on 34th Street was a sweet, but flawed film. I tried my very best not to compare it to much to the original because I don’t think that’s fair. It’s like a book-to-movie adaptation; there’s always going to be things that need to different and it’s better to accept that then spend two hours complaining about the changes that were made. While there were certain times I couldn’t help but think of the first movie, there were enough things that weren’t the same, that I was really able to view it as a separate movie.

The movie was OK, however it’s probably not anything I will watch again. The characters were fine, the plot easy to follow and the conclusion as heartwarming as I’d expect it to be. But outside of Hollywood needing to remake everything, I’m not quite sure that this retelling of Miracle on 34th Street was necessary.

What I didn’t like about the movie:

As you will see by reading the random thoughts that I wrote down when I watched Miracle on 34th Street, there were many things I didn’t particularly care for in this film.

It really bothered me that Kris and Mr. Bedford dismissed Mrs. Walker’s reluctance to let her guard down when the reasons given for her need to feel safe were quite valid. I’m never really a fan of men sitting around and discussing why a woman shouldn’t feel the way she is feeling.

For me, Mrs. Walker’s turn around happened too quickly. The viewer was never really given any insight into her change of heart and it felt forced. I didn’t buy it at all.

And most of all I really didn’t like that they took out the scene of having all the mail addressed to Santa Claus being the reason why Kris won his case. I get the need to be different, I get that that I shouldn’t be comparing it to the first movie (and I’ve acknowledged it already), but the route they went instead didn’t resonate with me, so that comparison was something I couldn’t help but do.

Verdict: A mediocre remake that doesn’t do justice to the first Miracle on 34th Street.

My thoughts during the movie

• I’ve broken my “no comparing” rule about 30 seconds into the film.
• This Santa seems OK, but his beard isn’t long enough

• Although he appears to British as well
• It’s the little girl from Mrs. Doubtfire…she’s done a lot of movies.
• Is it Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulroney?
• Must…stop…comparing
• I cannot get passed Santa’s short beard. It’s bugging me
• Jack Duff, you are bad news. I can feel it.
• Not to take Jack Duff’s or Jane Leeves’ side, but if I came across a man talking to Prancer and saying he played golf with the Easter Bunny, I’d think he was off his rocker too.
• I kind of appreciate the notion of being honest with your kids about Santa. Even though that goes against the message of this film. But I’m speaking as an outsider so what do I know?
• So you think this Kris Kringle is crazy for thinking he’s Santa Claus but you let him watch your kid so you can go out on a date? A man you know nothing about? Sounds like a good plan
• You want a house, a father and a younger brother? Way to keep the expectations low, Susan.
• Turning down a marriage proposal…awkward!
• I’m sorry, but Mrs. Walker had a louse of an ex-husband who abandoned her after her daughter was born and she’s too cautious for Kris and Mr. Bedford???
• Also, it bugs me how they’re sitting around and talking about Mrs. Walker like she’s some lost soul who needs help. I get that I’m probably reading waaaaaaay too much into this, but it’s really bothering me
• Way to out Santa to a bunch of kids you jerk! Boo! Hiss!
• And now you provoked him into losing his cool…you are the biggest asshole of them all
• All of a sudden Mrs. Walker is starting to believe? How convenient
• I’m finding myself distracted by how pretty Dylan McDermott looks
• Come on, Mr. Bedford! I know you have an ace up your sleeve
• I think there’s a chance that I’ve seen the ending to this movie before. I’m getting a really strong sense of déjà vu
• Don’t worry, Susan, I think you’ll be getting what you want for Christmas
• That house is gigantic!
• Despite the flaws in the film, that ending was cute

• I used to have a crush on Nicolas Cage (I don’t know why either)
• I think I’ve read a fanfic based on this film
• I’ve run out of interesting things to state in this section of my movie reviews

My (hopefully somewhat coherent) thoughts after the movie

I have a thing for stories that have to do with people examining the choices they make in their life. It’s always an interesting concept to think what if or what could have been or the difference between what is meant to be and what’s pure chance.   In as much as I think there is a certain amount of fate involved in life, I also firmly believe that the choices we make lead us to where we are supposed to end up.

I liked the reveal towards the end of the movie that in the alternate reality Jack did actually get on the plane, but then realized the mistake he had made. I was lead to believe – as was intended – that we were being shown what could have been if he’d never made the decision to leave for London. I think that was a smart decision because it helped Jack realize that what really was important and what should have been important to him all along.

Finally, I thought the end being a mirror image of the beginning of the film was a good commentary on Jack’s life. Once he finally accepted and began to enjoy his could have been world he had to come to the realization that he hadn’t made the right choice all those years ago. It wasn’t about going to back to fix something that couldn’t be fixed. It was about taking his second chance and doing what he could with it.

What I didn’t like about the movie:

I really only have one issue with The Family Man and it’s a pretty minor issue. I know Jack was shown a glimpse of what his life could have been versus what his life should have been. That being said, I found it kind of sad that being back in “reality” meant both of him and Kate wouldn’t have the chance to get to know their children from the alternate world. I guess in theory with them being reunited, they could have those same kids, but it bummed me out just a little bit.

Verdict: A great film that highlights the lesson of what’s important in life very well.

My thoughts during the movie

• I love Danny Kaye
• I have no idea what the plot of this movie might be
• Ever since I decided to watch White Christmas today, I’ve had the song of the same name stuck in my head

My (hopefully somewhat coherent) thoughts after the movie

What I liked about the movie:

The musical numbers were fantastic. I found myself heading bopping along to the singing.  I have to say my favourite one was definitely Wallace and Davis dressing up as the Haynes sisters and doing their act. It looked to me like their laughter was genuine and I really enjoyed it. Also, all four main characters had great chemistry together.

I thought when I started watching the film that it was just going to be about Wallace finding love and realizing what he’s been missing all along. And while that obviously was a central part of the plot, I liked the other message the movie delivered about taking care of soldiers when they come home from serving, a lot more. I thought it was a poignant message and one we still need to learn today.

Danny Kaye is an absolute joy to watch on screen. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him in anything and once again he did not disappoint.

What I didn’t like about the movie:

I wonder if I’m not being critical enough, but there wasn’t really anything about White Christmas that I didn’t enjoy. Yes the film is predictable, yes it has a happy ending, but that’s what Christmas movies are all about. I’m not looking to have my life changed. I’m looking to be entertained, hopefully laugh a little and also to feel really good after the movie is over.  In that respect, White Christmas delivered on all fronts.

Verdict: A movie that is chock full of Christmas spirit – another great film that the whole family can watch together

My thoughts during the movie

• I did not expect the song to come so early in the film
• What a voice that Bing Crosby has…it’s breathtaking
• Those poor soldiers away from their families, must be so hard
• Haha that’s the way to use guilt! And I maybe, possibly, I could see myself doing the same if I saved someone’s life
• The cracks in the bromance are starting to show.
• Wallace likes to sing and dance and doesn’t show any interest in women. Hmmmmmm
• Something tells me that these sisters are going to be the exact opposite of ugly
• Also, I think that one of the sisters is going to turn out to be the woman that Wallace has been looking for and that Davis might find the other sister somewhat appealing. Call me Kreskin
• This scene of the sisters singing reminds me of the Lawrence Welk Show sketch on SNL with Kristen Wiig playing the one weird sister with the tiny hands
• The dress that Miss Haynes is wearing seems really risqué for the 40’s
• Movies today need more singing and dancing like this. Seriously
• There a lot of people in this scene are wearing pale blue. It’s distracting
• Oh, Mr. Wallace, don’t pretend you are against the Vermont idea. I know the truth!
• I’ve always wanted to take a trip on a train, seems like fun. And perhaps I could also pretend I was on my way to Hogwarts
• So, everything in Vermont is green. I’m betting they will all be wishing for a white Christmas. I’m astute, I know
• Counting blessings to help you sleep is pretty good advice
• Nothing good is going to come out of Emma eavesdropping on that phone call
• (OMG, Emma is the crotchety nun from Sister Act! – thank you IMDB)

• Poor, confused, Wallace
• I guess voiceover techniques weren’t a thing yet
• Shenanigans have been discovered…there is trouble afoot
• Misunderstandings here…misunderstandings there…misunderstandings everywhere
• That’s right Miss Haynes, you better feel bad for thinking the worst of Wallace!
• If they redid this movie today they’d probably have Wallace tweet his message of support for the General in hopes that it would go viral
• Yay! Betty is back! I’m sensing a very happy ending is just around the corner
• No, I’m not tearing up. Nope, not me, there’s just something in my eyes. That’s all!
• Haha, Wallace’s face when he saw Betty had come back was just precious
• When’s it going to start snowing?
• There it is! Just what the ski resort needed!
• Aw! Everyone is singing White Christmas together.  Just lovely

• I’m a huge fan of Beverly D’Angelo
• Prediction: I will probably close my eyes multiple times during the film when Clark does, or is about to do, something stupid because of the second hand embarrassment I’ll feel
• I really hope this doesn’t disappoint me

My (hopefully somewhat coherent) thoughts after the movie

What I liked about the movie:

While National Lampoons Christmas Vacation follows a somewhat predictable script, it was still a funny movie that has plenty to offer.

Like him or not, Chevy Chase is a master at physical comedy.  And even though you know that something bad is about to happen and you’re already cringing in anticipation, he plays those moments flawlessly and without telegraphing the upcoming calamity. Clark Griswold is a goofy, clumsy character, but he’s also a character that is inherently a nice guy who loves his family. He’s very likable and that says a lot about the performance of Chevy Chase.

Randy Quaid was very funny in the role of Eddie (not that I was surprised as I’ve seen other National Lampoon movies). He does the role of family-we-have-to-love-because-we’re-related so well. Even though his kidnapping of Clark’s boss was a terrible idea, I do like that the character’s heart was in the right place.

I’m a sucker for family scenes that end up in complete disarray and this movie had plenty of those to satisfy me. There is something about family dynamics that makes for great on screen moments.  Families are loving, supportive and there for you no matter what (if you’re lucky), but they are also the people that can drive you the craziest and make you want to scream at them like there’s no tomorrow.

What I didn’t like about the movie:

While I understand that the focus of the film is on the character of Clark Griswold, I would have liked to see more of his wife and his kids. They seem to be primarily used to establish the likability of Clark or to provide opportunities to for us as the audience to be horrified/embarrassed/sympathetic along with them. The star of this is clearly Chevy Chase, but I would have liked the supporting cast to get more of an opportunity to shine.

Also, and here comes some complete petty nit picking, I find the title of this movie completely misleading! I thought they were going on a trip somewhere and was sorely (dramatic much) disappointed when that wasn’t the case.  It shows how much I enjoyed the film when this is what I’m complaining about by the way.

Verdict: A funny and also heart-warming film that will definitely be going on my must watch Christmas movie list.

My thoughts during the movie

• Really digging the animated opening and kitschy song
• Holy wow Juliette Lewis is so young! And Jonathan Galecki with his little baby face!
• I have a sneaking suspicion this journey to get a Christmas tree isn’t going to end well
• Step away from the chainsaw, Clark. Step away!
• Sometimes I feel like I’m the female version of Clark Griswold
• I want that Tasmanian devil coffee mug
• Oh man, there is no getting away from It’s a Wonderful Life – it’s haunting me now
• Christmas lights seem like such a lot of work. I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with them.
• Clark should not be allowed to touch anything dangerous ever, ever again
• 80’s fashion was both awesome and hideous at the same time
• I love how optimistic Clark’s immediate family is that this lights display isn’t going to be a disaster even though it absolutely will be one
• I don’t understand how anyone ever thought that fur made a good fashion accessory
• I hereby predict that Clark will get the lights to work before the end of this movie
• Or you know, in the next 30 seconds
• And parents wonder why kids don’t trust them. Santa Claus…the Easter Bunny…the Tooth Fairly. Lies. All lies!!!
• All I can think looking at all those Christmas lights is how high the Griswold electricity bill must be

• Oh my gosh this family dinner scene is making me cringe something awful
• OH MY GOD EVERYTHING IS AWFUL AND LEWIS IS ON FIRE
• Rut roh, I think Clark is about to have a break down
• Hahaha this squirrel scene is amazing – such a clusterfuck of awesomeness
• Oh Elaine Benes, you kind of deserved that
• LOL now this is what I would call an unrealistic ending but in the best way possible – so corny and so much fun
• OK, everyone singing “The Star-Spangled Banner” is amazingly absurd but I can’t stop laughing

• I believe this is the movie with the line “Yes, Virgina there is a Santa Claus” or something like that (Updated: Oh, how wrong I was – I ended up having to look up online where that came from)
• Other than that, I have some passing knowledge of the general plot line of the film
• Apparently I’m watching the bastardized colour version – it was my only choice!

My (hopefully somewhat coherent) thoughts after the movie

What I liked about the movie:

This was a thoroughly delightful film to watch. It had everything I’d expect from a Christmas movie: an incredibly well cast Santa Claus, someone who doesn’t believe, an adorable kid (who thankfully  can act), an evil character that we can all dislike and an ending that wraps everything up nicely with all major issues resolved.

What I think Miracle on 34^th Street does very well is presents characters to you that you can’t help but root for.  Nobody (with the exception of the doctor trying to get Kris committed) is presented as wholly unlikeable or a person you want to see bad things happen to.  A good example of that is the character of Doris Walker. She practical, she’s logical and she doesn’t for one second at the beginning of the film think that Santa Claus could be real. However, she’s not presented to the viewer as someone who doesn’t have a heart or is refusing to believe just because. Her reasons and motives make a lot of sense and her actions are not done out of spite or malice. And while her attitude does affect her daughter, she’s motivated by wanting to protect her child versus anything nefarious.

Finally, while my knowledge of Christmas films is limited, I have to say this movie has one of the most endearing Santa Claus’ I’ve had the pleasure of watching.

What I didn’t like about the movie:

There really isn’t anything about Miracle on 34^th Street that I didn’t like. Sure there are minor issues I could nit pick about, but really they are more a reflection of the era this movie was made in versus problems with the film itself. I enjoyed it from start to its very happy conclusion

Verdict:  I would recommend this film to anyone looking for good Christmas movie to watch with the whole family. You won’t be disappointed.

My thoughts during the movie

• They really should not try to add colour to black and white movies – yikes
• SANTA! (I presume)
• I didn’t realize that they have British accents at the North Pole
• Hello, young Natalie Wood – you’re adorable

• I think someone is playing matchmaker!
• There’s a sign for ‘Canadian Fur’ – I will refrain from making any crude jokes seeing as this is a family film
• The “how to be a monkey” scene is precious
• Mr.  Gailey you are teh awesome
• Uh oh, I think you’ve been outsmarted by a kid, Santa
• It’s amazing how much smoking there is on screen
• This commentary on corporate greed and actually trying to do what’s best for the customer is (unfortunately) still very relevant today
• Ahahaha at Santa having to pick gum out his beard – he’s such a cutie
• Mr. Sawyer is an asshat!!!!!! And I bet he’s going to get a big lump of coal in his stocking
• Institutionalizing Santa?  That’s awful
• Great pep talk, Mr. Gailey
• The zooming in on documents or anything else written that filmmaker wants us to see makes me laugh
• I don’t think Mr. Sawyer was loved enough as a child
• Geeze, Mr. Gailey and Ms. Walker, when are you two crazy kids going to get together?
• Four for you, Mr. Macy! You go, Mr. Macy!
• Hey there, Mrs. Walker, you’re starting to sound like a believer now
• You fell quite nicely into that trap, Mr. Prosecutor – sucker!
• Kris Kringle’s elated face is so sweet and makes me want to pinch his cheeks!
• Alfred got to dress up as Santa too – this movies knows how to get you in the heart
• Don’t worry, Susie, I have a feeling you’ll get the house you’ve always wanted
• “Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to” – fantastic line
• Well imagine that, look at what house they ended up at?

• This is the film I am least looking forward to watching
• I’m not a fan of Billy Bob Thorton
• If it wasn’t for my Christmas movie project, I would probably never sit down to watch it

My (hopefully somewhat coherent) thoughts after the movie

What I liked about the movie:

Surprisingly, quite a lot.   I don’t know if it’s because I went into watching this with incredibly low expectations, but Bad Santa was a lot more enjoyable then I ever expected.

As mentioned previously, I really am not all that keen on Billy Bob Thorton. That being said, he definitely gave a great performance of a bitter, angry, crude man who hit rock bottom. It was believable and, in an odd way, somewhat relatable. He sold the performance a hundred percent. When he did start softening up, and that thankfully happened gradually, his transformation didn’t seem forced or contrived. I actually like that he didn’t get a reunion with “the kid” at the end, it was better for us as the viewer to just picture how that might play out. I like when movies don’t necessarily give everything to the audience that they want, but more what is necessary to enjoy what we’ve just watched.

“The kid,” aka Thurman, was probably the best thing this movie has going for it. He was adorable, sweet and unaffected (for the most part) at what people said about him, and he was a great foil for Billy Bob Thorton’s character. He definitely was the heart of the film, and if his performance wasn’t spot on, we’d be left with a Christmas movie that was just filled with a lot of swearing and no story to get behind.

The music in Bad Santa was a huge asset to the film. The use of Christmas carols throughout felt appropriate while not seeming to be there just to remind people that this was a festive movie. And when Bad Santa was at his drunkest, the music went wonky and helped telegraph his low moment incredibly well.

What I didn’t like about the film:

Really, not all that much. Yes, I found the film bordering on tasteless at times, but that is kind of the point of the film and I don’t think there was anything that went too far or caused me to think, why did they go there? If I had to nitpick, I found the end unrealistic, but isn’t that the case with a large percentage of movies?

So there you have it, I liked this (a lot) better than It’s a Wonderful Life…what is wrong with me? (Don’t answer that).

Verdict: I would definitely watch this again. It’s nice to have a movie to go to that tackled the whole “Sprit of Christmas” trope, but in a way that’s probably not like any other Christmas movie out there.

My thoughts during the film 

• I love John Ritter, I didn’t know he was in this
• OK, then, this is way more swearing than I would ever expect from a Christmas movie
• I once sat on Santa’s lap – it was a weird experience. It didn’t help that while we waited my sister said “just pretend it’s a Jewish Santa Claus.” The other people in line did not really approve of that
• So.much.swearing
• I think Bad Santa needs a hug! Or some anger management lessons
• Little children are like germ bombs – Mall Santas must get very sick this time of year
• That poor chubby kid
• Lauren Graham! Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!!!!
• Oh man, I’m never going  to look at you the same again, Lorelai Gilmore. For shame!!!!
• Uh oh, Bad Santa, I think this kid is going to break through your tough and heartless exterior (SPOILER ALERT)

• Oh gosh, kid, I don’t think your dad is in the mountains
• Bad Santa is a very bad man and yet almost endearing? I’m not quite sure how that’s possible
• I want to squeeze the shit out of this kid – his face is so sweet and the way he’s unfazed by Bad Santa’s crankiness is awesome
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not the Advent calendar you jerk!
• Oh my god so much blood, I’m going to puke
• Holy wow that is one amazingly horrific wedgie
• They tried to tell Bad Santa that he had to go to rehab, but he said, NO, NO, NO
• “I can stick you in my ass, small fry” LOL – so wrong but the laughing I cannot stop
• Haha yeah! Way to beat that bully up, Bad Santa! Again, so wrong but I cheered when it happened
• Holy shit! This boxing scene has me in stitches
• I just can’t with these scenes between Bad Santa and Lauren Graham – it’s disturbing to me
• Aw! Kid! You are the absolute cutest! I want to pinch your cheeks and make sure nobody picks on you ever again!
• Thurman, eh? Way to give the kid a name that will guarantee he gets picked on
• YOU ARE NOT A DIPSHIT LOSER! STOP KID WITH ALL THE FEELS. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT!!!!!!
• I CAN’T, THIS KID IS KILLING ME
• What a sad, yet lovely Christmas tree. And Grandma’s  stocking on the fireplace mantel was hilarious
• Shit just got real. Shame on you Marcus! (even though Bad Santa sucks)
• The way he is grasping that pink elephant, be still my heart
• Uh, this is a fake ending, right? RIGHT????
• Ok, not a fake ending, but PHEW
• Bwahahahahahaha! Right on kid!!!!!
• Oh, gosh, the “In loving memory of John Ritter” got me all vklempt

• Out of all the films on my list, this is probably the one I have the most pop culture knowledge about.
• I have a feeling I’m either going to love it or be completely disappointed in the film.
• When I started my project I absolutely this had to be on any must see Christmas movie list

My (hopefully somewhat coherent) thoughts after the movie

What I liked about the movie:

I thought Donna Reed did a great job. Mary was someone I immediately connected with. If she was going through something, I cared about what happened. When George went off to contemplate ending his life, she took action and went to the town, to the people that loved him, to set things right. There is nothing I enjoy more than a woman who gets things done.

Clarence was another character I really liked. It doesn’t hurt that he had the sweetest face. I also enjoyed the contrast of him being calm when George was going off the rails. He gave George the best gift possible and got his wings at the end. What’s not to like about that?

As you will read below, I had a lot of issues with the character of George, but I thought Jimmy Stewart was fantastic in this role. While I perhaps didn’t feel as much about George’s plight as a I should have, this had more to do with my expectations rather than his performance.

And finally, while the rest of the film dragged on in parts for me, the very end was just as amazing as I thought it would be. When they started singing Auld Lang Syne, I got goosebumps and a bit teary eyed. For all the faults I found in It’s a Wonderful Life, the end was pretty much perfection.

What I didn’t like about the movie:

Unfortunately, there was quite a bit I didn’t like about It’s a Wonderful Life (stop judging me)! I had two major issues with this film: 1. I had unfairly high expectations for It’s a Wonderful Life, because it seems to be the perennial Christmas movie that so many people love, and 2. I’ve seen a lot of parodies of the last 20 minutes of the film, so I spent a lot of time wondering when we were going to get to that part. I realize that neither of those points are really the fault of the movie itself, but they were definite factors in how I judged it. It felt time was dragging as I waited for George to realize/be shown why he should feel he’s had a blessed life.  I know they were just building up George’s back story so, when he hit rock bottom, we’d care a lot about him and be rooting for him to overcome the horrible circumstances of his life. I get that. But to me it seemed to drag on too long until we got to the payoff at the very end.

Which leads me to my last point about why I didn’t like this movie: I didn’t particularly like George Bailey. As I already stated, I thought Jimmy Stewart was great in the role, but I just didn’t sympathize all that much towards him as he approached his breakdown. Yes, his dreams were taken from him and, yes, a lot of really unfair shit brought about his breakdown, but when he started lashing out at his wife and kids I wanted to slap him upside the head. I wasn’t so much interested in his redemption than I was in him making things up with his (loyal) wife and kids. I really wanted him to realize on his own how lucky he truly was—even with all the bad stuff that happens.

Overall, I was disappointed in It’s a Wonderful Life and, while I’m happy to say I finally had a chance to watch it, I can’t see myself sitting through the whole thing again.

Verdict: Meh.

My random thoughts during the movie

• Sadly, the beginning of the film reminds of the Beverly Hills 90210 (original series) Christmas special when all of them almost died in a bus crash – my apologies to everyone associated with this film
• The talking stars are precious
• Sledding on a shovel?!?! Why have I never heard of this before?
• This is like an old school “white people can’t dance” segment
• George Baily, you scoundrel! Give her back her robe! That Hydrangea bush can’t be very comfortable
• Mr. Potter is very Scrooge-esque
• So George is somehow going to be compelled to take over his dad’s business, thus killing his dreams? Right?
• Go me! My prediction was correct. Booyah
• He really is turning into a Bitter Betty
• That heated kissing scene between George and Mary must be the 40’s version of angry sex
• I want to punch Potter in the face
• I feel bad but I’m really bored right now (sorry for being a terrible person)
• Donna Reed is a beautiful woman

• I think my main issue is that as much as I do sympathize with George in a lot of ways, I don’t really have a lot of feels when it comes to him…perhaps I’m dead inside.
• I’m starting to think that Mr. Burns was based on Potter – I keep picturing him saying “Exxxxxxcelllent”
• I understand why George is upset, but he’s being such a dick I’m more sympathetic to his family than I am to him
• OMG the kids with tears in their eyes are giving me tears in my eyes
• I’m on “Team Anyone But George” right now
• Ok he gets some of my sympathy back for jumping into the water to save that guy (who I now know is his guardian angel)
• Buffy taught me to never say my wishes out loud.
• Wouldn’t it be the worst to wish you’d never been born and have everyone better off without you? Awkward! (I actually think that there was a Dallas made for TV movie with that premise).
• Bwahahaha Bert and Ernie…awesome!
• In spite of my cold, dead heart, the end of the movie did give me chills. Maybe there’s hope for me after all