Guess who’s back?

No, not Slim Shady or the Terminator.

It’s us with another edition of “What the Tweet?”

Here’s our top tweets of the past week(ish) for your reading pleasure.

My 6 month old son chose not to acknowledge daylight savings time & wake up at 5 because he is not a smart or good person.—
rob delaney (@robdelaney) November 06, 2011

Reason #425 why I’m glad the other half and I are not planning to have any kids

Can somebody tell me why Voldemort didn't choose to make Carmen Sandiego a Horcrux?—
Professor Snape (@_Snape_) November 05, 2011

Anything involving Carmen Sandiego and Harry Potter = perfection

Ralph Fiennes is blaming Twitter for dumbing down the English language? I won't take that from a man who can't pronounce his own name.—
Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) October 30, 2011

Exactly! It’s always bugged me that he wants his name pronounced in such a hoity-toity way

I wonder why Halloween isn't as big in a lot of countries as it is in the US. It's fucking sweet. Free candy & you can dress up as Jesus.—
Sarah ☮ (@SendTulips) October 31, 2011

I have to wornder that too. How can anyone not love candy and getting to dress up?

#marijuana laced candy? Man the kids these days get all the good shit.—
Jenn (@jEnNjUiCe86) November 02, 2011

Why was that not happening when I went trick-or-treating? Uhm, I mean drugs are bad!

I got 99 costumes but a witch ain't one.—
Jay Cartwright (@InbetweenersJay) October 31, 2011

I always enjoy a good play on words, plus it reminds me of two great Naomily stories I’ve read

Amy: "I never fully appreciate how much plaid you own until I see it stuffed in a suitcase like some kind of lesbian textile convention."—
Heather Hogan (@hhoagie) November 01, 2011

Part of the enjoyment of following Heather Hogan is reading what Amy has to say

Thank god gay people can't legally marry each other and destroy the sanctity of what Kim Kardashian did.—
Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) October 31, 2011

Good to know marriage is protected by not letting gays marry

Justin Bieber's allegedly going to be a father? What a happy milestone! Lesbians can apparently now sire children.—
Joan Rivers (@Joan_Rivers) November 02, 2011

And lesbians (except the other half and I) rejoice everywhere!

It is exactly 6 years today since the very first episode of #SouthOfNowhere aired [4 Nov 2005].—
Dev 'n' Clom (@devandclom) November 04, 2011

*single tear* I still miss this show even though I can now watch it (legally) in Canada. Will always have a special place in my heart

Fin