It’s time again for me to get a few things off my chest.
Here’s what’s grinding my (gay) gears this week.
The person who lives above us
Why you ask? Because she allows her dog to defecate and urinate on her balcony, leaving oh-so lovely surprises for the other half and me. Surely you jest, I can hear you say. First of all, I’m dead serious, and second, don’t call me Shirley. If you’re going to have a dog in a condo or apartment building and your dog needs to go late at night, I don’t care if you’re lazy/tired, you need to get them outside so they can do their business. My girlfriend is pretty patient and easy going but our bad neighbo(u)r awakens the she-hulk within her. Rightfully so.
People who don’t like hockey
I wrote earlier on this week about why I love Canada and my number two reason was the sport of hockey. Shock of all shocks, I discovered there are actual Canadians who are not fans of this ballet on ice! The girlfriend gets a pass (but not really because I’m always going to bug her about it) because she’s American. But my fellow Canookians, you certainly don’t. Remember, not loving hockey is grounds for treason and I’m not above ratting people out.
People who drive under the speed limit in the passing lane
Honestly, you should have your driver’s license revoked for such an egregious offense. My dad is such a bad offender of this driving faux pas that it takes a lot for me to get in the car with him when he’s driving because I get so enraged. If you want to drive like a granny, move your arse over to the right lane and go as slow as heart desires (well not too slow because I would revoke your license for that as well). You’re the reason that road rages exists. I implore you to please cease and desist if you are someone who does this. My blood pressure and everyone else on the road would be ever so grateful.
Apparently there is a Fall storm heading to the city of Toronto and surrounding areas tomorrow. I didn’t even know Fall storms were a thing, by the way. You’d think that a possible apocalypse was imminent the way that weather forecasters were going on and on about it. Obviously I’m not advocating not sounding some sort of alarm bell, thus leaving people unprepared and in dangerous situations, but so often people are worked up into a frenzy that they start acting stupid. More importantly, as a kid a potential snow day was an event I really looked forward to. I’d get so excited and when I’d wake up most of the time all that hype would be for nothing and I’d end up having to go to school sans completed homework. And I only blame weather forecasters for that.
The person that never refills the paper in the office photocopier
That’s right, I’m talking to you! Why must you frustrate me and everyone else so? It takes exactly 6.8 seconds to complete this task (that’s right, I timed it). I’m the first person who understands laziness and procrastination but this lack of courtesy crosses a very big line. And it makes me want to punch you.